Notice Of Eviction
by Transience
Summary: A little notice of eviction brings about a confrontation that Shuichi can't delay any longer. WARNING: YxS, YAOI [Ch.2 up.]
1. Confrontation

Author's Note: YxS, Yaoi

[Thanks to all those who even spared this creation of mine a glance. Loved every review guys!]

[A revamp was in order when I was rereading. Fixed up the mistakes that thankfully no one caught.]

**Warning: I didn't realize that there is a spoiler in here until I read it again for the fifth time or so. There references to the anime/manga. I apologize for possibly ruining things when I didn't mention it last time.**

Confrontation

            I wandered aimlessly around the empty apartment taking in the bare surroundings. I stepped onto the balcony into the cool evening breeze while Yuki and the agent were talking quietly in the living room on prices and such things. We were currently apartment hunting and this was the first place that the agent had found for us—three bedrooms, two bathrooms, living room, kitchen, balcony, and plenty of closets. It was even located close to NG studios and only a few blocks from our old apartment.

            Why were we looking for a new place in the first place? Apparently, we did not heed the warnings the apartment complex committee had given about sinfully loud noises from the apartment and inappropriate behavior in the public areas of the complex. And so we were given our notice of eviction. We now had two weeks to move out before they came and kicked us out.

            The evening view of the city from the balcony was pretty similar to that of our old one and it made me feel slightly better about moving. I was so lost in my own thoughts until two arms wrapped around me from behind and pulled me against a hard chest. I leaned into his embrace and sighed, I was going to miss our old home. It held so many memories that I cherished. Yet there were still so many things that have not been resolved since his return from New York nearly a year ago. It has been better with him though. We're spending time just talking and listening to each other. I've learned a lot more since, but there are still so many issues that made me confused and hurt at times.

            I was interrupted from my musings again when he whispered softly, "What do you think of the apartment?"

            This was a surprise. I wasn't expecting him to ask me that. Yuki hardly bothered with my opinion. I still wasn't even sure if we were going to be living together because he never mentioned it. I did not want to assume things sometimes because if I did, he'd call me a baka and I'd just embarrass myself. Actually, I was more afraid to get my hopes up only to have them broken with a few cruel words. He turned me to face him when I didn't respond to his question, asking me silently with his eyes what was wrong.

            I was such a wimp. I couldn't even bring myself to ask him outright if I was moving with him! Argh… I was so frustrated with myself I missed the concerned look he was giving me.

            He lifted my chin so that he could look directly into my eyes. There was a mysterious air in his eyes, but by his facial expression, I could tell he was trying to encourage me to just say what was bottled up. I needed the confirmation. I needed to know if I was important enough to him that he'd take me where ever he'd go. I rested my head against his chest, and asked quietly, "Yuki… Am I going to be living with you when you move?"

            Shock registered in his face as his golden eyes widened and lips parted in stun. Shaking out of his momentary stump, he sighed and pulled me snug against his lean form before answering with incisive confidence, "Of course." His voice tightened while his body stiffened. "Were you thinking of moving out?"

            I shook my head vigorously and clutched him in a death grip with my own arms while feeling him relax against me once again. Kami-sama, how good it felt to know we weren't going to be separated. The tension I'd felt since we got the notice of eviction seemed to have dissipated with his slightly possessive affirmation. 

            The silence that followed was a comfortable one until he broke it and asked, "Why did you think you weren't?"

            I debated on playing stupid and maybe distracting him with a kiss or two but I knew it was one of those moments where he was not going to be swayed by my mischievous antics. So I decided I was going to bring the question on my mind for the past couple of months to the forefront and brave his reaction. I swallowed my nervousness, broke away from the embrace that I loved, standing closer to the rail of the balcony and told him, "Because I don't know where I stand with you. I know you like me well enough. I mean why else would you put up with me, ne?" Tense laughter sounded from dry lips.

            In my mind I vaguely thought about how this was not the place to discuss this but I pushed back the thought and pushed myself forward, "You've been back for almost a year. We're still living together. We're still sleeping with each other. Hell, I even managed to move in on _your_ bedroom," I pointed out while poking him in the chest stressing that last statement.

            Now that I've started, I really couldn't seem to stop my tirade. A floodgate had burst and I had no strength to withhold it. In my mind, this confrontation was much delayed and despite that we could be interrupted by the agent at any time, it didn't stop me from finishing. I was lost, distressed, and uncertain. Living with doubt and insecurity is the worst feeling ever. They were gnawing at my insides like an incessant prickling. It truly was a cold and bitter hell of not knowing.

            "But all that doesn't tell me what I am to you. For all I know, you could just up and leave and… and…" I couldn't go on. My voice caught in my throat; my chest constricted at the memory and I felt tears stream down my cheeks as I struggled to get myself together as the beginnings of a sob escaped from my hold. The wound from that stunt you pulled was still so raw inside me. 

            I sometimes still feel the pain that shot through my heart digging at every tender vessel it harbored when I had come home to find him missing just like before. It doesn't matter that he could be back in a few minutes. It doesn't matter that he probably just went out to a store to get cigarettes, alcohol, or both because I threw them out the night before. It doesn't matter because in my mind I can only remember the distraught that wracked through my frame I felt when he disappeared last year.

             When the sobs managed to subsided, I brokenly continued to explain. "I'm not demanding undying love. I'm not even demanding 'love.' I know you need time to come to terms with that concept. I know you are still adjusting to the realization that you are a lovable creature regardless of what you'd like to believe. I do. I really do. It's just…"

            I was having trouble with completing the sentence that I realized I needed to breathe before my vision blacked out and lost consciousness. Taking slow deep breaths to calm myself, I resumed my little speech. "It's just hurts so much when I just _don't know_. I want you tell me that you won't abandon me, or that you won't make yourself 'disappear' when something bad gets thrown our way. I just want to know who I am to you. I don't want to live on assumptions anymore."

            My shoulders sagged and I sighed from the intensity of my confession. Right now, I needed to be alone to just relax. My voice was barely above a whisper by now, "Just…" I took a deep breath and released it, "Yuki, just think about it."

            When he didn't respond, I begged desperately and took his hand in mine, "Please."

            I heard the voice of the agent flutter through the house and looked once more pleadingly at Yuki before I answered his call revealing our location. He was still standing there with blank eyes, not reacting to any of what I said. As I stepped away, he caught my hand and gave me a small nod. A weak smile made its way to my lips, "I'll be at home waiting for you." And into the apartment I went, leaving him to stand alone with his own ponderings as I thought on the word. _Home_. Did I even have one with Yuki? I shook my head and freed myself from another nightmarish word.

            I have to believe I was more than an easy fuck. I had to believe in him. I did believe in him.

            That was why I was going home to wait for him. Because Yuki was going to tell me I _was important._

°

-- To Be Continued. [Is this making any sense to any one? I feel like I'm contradicting myself with certain things.]

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	2. Certainty

**Author's Note**: YxS, Yaoi  
  
[I don't know where to begin to apologize for my absolute tardiness. It's just that so much has happened since my last posting. (For example, I was recently promoted to Senior Assistant Director! Yeah, one step till I'm a full fledged Director!) I'm glad to see that there are some of you who are still interested in this story. I enjoyed every one of those reviews. It was your encouragement that pushed me to finish writing this chapter.]  
  
[There might be some glitches because this was written in several sittings. Again, I'm sorry for such a long delay.]  
  
**Warning**: None. Fluff perhaps?

Last time...   
That was why I was going home to wait for him. Because Yuki was going to tell me I _was_ important.  
  
**Certainty**  
  
I don't know why I end up here every time I was troubled with our relationship. Maybe it was because we met here and this was sort of a sacred ground for us where you wouldn't toss hurtful words or throw mean glances at me. I sighed as I came across the bridge where you had caught my lyrics and blatantly told me that they were horrendous. There was so much between us, yet sometimes I felt like we were going no where; unable to forget the past, at a stand still in the present, and unwilling to see the future.

I caught sight of the latest music magazine and frowned as I read the headlines. 'Shindou Shuichi, _Still_ Yuki Eiri's Current Boy-Toy?' I was already in turmoil by the doubt I had in our relationship. It really hurt when the media thought my relationship with Yuki was a complete farce. Even more so when I wasn't sure if I weren't just a boy-toy to you—something to fuck when you needed to relieve stress.

I let myself fall into the bench, sagging against the hard wood, barely feeling the coldness seep into to my body, as if I were numb to the world. I've noticed this recently. Everything around me seems to just pass by without my noticing. I felt as if I didn't exist in the same universe that everyone else seems to be so engrossed in. Has it really come to this? Where I depended on you to anchor me to this suddenly harsh world? Where I could no longer function as an independent individual?

I sat up at the sudden realization. Was that it? Was it because I lost my sense of independence? Was it because I needed you more than you needed me and that made you feel trapped? Were you feeling trapped? Did you want to be alone again? To be in a place where you weren't saddled with me? To just be without me?

Stopping myself before I continued through that thought pattern, I sighed and dropped onto back onto the bench. No, I couldn't let myself think that way. If I kept this up, I'd give myself another headache. It was one thing to be insecure about where I stood with you; it was another to doubt if we were even going to be together.

When had it come to this? When did I start feeling so negative and unable to see the positive of the situation? Where had all my enthusiasm gone? _Argh_… Too many questions, too little answers. I got up, headed towards the rail and leaned against it, starring into the setting sky. I think my scream echoed across Tokyo when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist from behind. I turned, shock evident on my flushed face, "Yuki!" I admonished, "You scared me half to death there. I thought I asked you to go home and think."

"Baka. I don't need to think. I knew what I needed to say before you even hit this slump of yours."

_Eh? Was he psychic?_

As if reading my mind, you responded with, "No, I'm not psychic. I just know when you go through your _monthlies_ like a woman."

When I looked up, you had this smirk that was so sexy (made me want to jump your bones at the moment) and at the same time had me really aggravated. I was very serious about our situation, and you had the nerve to play it off with a devilishly handsome smirk. Grrr… I was ready to pounce when you pulled me close, my head resting against your firm chest.

"Listen to me before you get all banshee on me." You walked us over to the bench, sat down and pulled me into your lap so that I was straddling you with my head pressed against the crook of your neck and arms arranged loosely around your waist. Your arms were wound around my back, one hand stroking it in soothing motions. My eyes closed at the gentle ministrations and I couldn't help but breathe in your wonderfully spicy and manly scent.

It was too quiet even though we were settled comfortably. I was about to break the silence when you began talking again. "Shu, I know this past year hasn't been easy on you. I _know_ that the media hasn't been helping either, what with their venomous words that mess with your cute little head." You must've caught sight of the headlines on the magazine lying next to us because you picked the magazine up and chucked it at a nearby trash can. "What they say is garbage. Complete and utter nonsense. These people still have me dating women; women that don't even exist. So you see how unreliable they are when it comes to news. Right?"

I nodded dumbly not knowing what I should say. I knew that we were at least exclusive, so I guess you had a point there. "I also know you're practically living in constant doubt." Your hand came up from my back and fingers threaded themselves into my pink strands of hair massaging my scalp lightly. I felt your lips brush across my temple in a soft, reassuring kiss. "But it is **my** fault that I haven't made myself clear. And I guess I take your ability to understand me for granted sometimes."

I lifted my head from your shoulder and found myself looking into unwavering, determined golden eyes that have always been my source of access into your soul. I felt your hands move together and cup my face, a thumb gently caressing the smooth curve of my cheek. "_You_, Shuichi, plain and simple, _are the one I want_. I have no question in my mind about that." Shaking your head to emphasize your point, "You shouldn't either. I love you." You pointed to the center of my chest, poking at it while saying, "You should know that in here."

Just like that, you said it.

No faltering, no fumbling, no hesitation, no indecision, nothing. Just like that you said three simple words that could make the world go right again.

It was all I needed to know before I flung my arms around your neck, throwing whatever weight I had into a bone crushing hug and knocked you forcefully against the back of the bench. Tears streamed from my eyes and sobs of 'me too' escaped from my throat, rendering me completely a disastrous mess. I barely felt the returned embrace that was equally powerful and doubly comforting.

Any reservation I had with our relationship flowed into the night along with the crystal drops that soaked your shirt. Having you in my arms; holding you so closely to me only solidified the heavenly sense of fulfillment that I was currently experiencing. The euphoria from your declaration carried me above and beyond the skies. I felt as if I were floating; everything I was experiencing felt hazy, if not dreamlike. But I knew one thing for sure, I definitely wasn't alone anymore.

I had your love now. It was as you've said, plain and simple—you loved me. I knew that now.

I had no idea how long we stayed like that, entangled within each other's arms. Could've been seconds, could've been hours. I lost track of everything when I was engulfed by your strong arms and warmed from your body heat. But, honestly, right now, being held wasn't enough. I wanted to _feel_ you—next to me, against me, inside me.

My head lifted from its resting place and your hand caught my chin before tilting it upwards to meet your lips in a soft kiss. _Mmm_… It's been a while since we kissed so slowly, so gently just to enjoy the sweet art of kissing. I've always thought these teasing ones were the best. They were so relaxed, but at the same time I felt the need to rush it along. Pushing it to the point where we were gasping for gulps of precious air before diving under to taste each other again. _God_… how I wanted you right now. You were driving me insane with such tender treatment.

In between our smooching, you somehow managed to say something along the lines of, "We should go home before I decide to take you right here on our bench." You stood, sliding me off your body but still keeping me close to you. My body was tingling from your touches; my lips were burning from your kisses and I was aching for more. You were right, we needed to go home and we needed to go now before we did something embarrassing in public.

We walked home pretty quickly, both of us wanting so much more than those tame brushes of skin contact. And when _our_ apartment door shut, it closed with such finality that everything seemed to settle the way I always wished it would—the two of us coming _home_ together where we were free from troubles and worries, where I knew exactly how you felt for me, where we both knew that _our home_ was built from pure, unadulterated love.  
  
°  
  
-- Owari. [Okay I lied, I have a lemon in mind, but I'm not sure if I want to brainstorm another sexy idea.]

[I'm having trouble with spacing. Can't seem to get it right even though I save it as a web page. Can somebody help? Help would be greatly appreciated.]  
  
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